I'M BAAAACK!!!!
Yes I am back to the blog. It's been quite a while since I've blogged. Haven't had really much of anything to blog about until recently. On May 22, 2012 I had major surgery. Don't worry I'm fine. It was actually a surgery I was exstatic to have. I had bariatric surgery. More specific it was the gastric sleeve. Most of you may know more about gastric bypass or lapband. The gastric sleeve is a newer less complicated version. Instead of bypassing anything or putting a foreign object in your body, they cut my stomch into a slender sleeve like shape keeping it attached to my intestines. It's about the size of a very small banana, about 4 oz. So I wanted to get back to blogging so that I could share my journey with you. I'm about a month out from surgery so there's not much to catch up on. I was thinking today about how many people ask how I'm doing or ask my family memebers. I can't tell you how great that feels. So I decided to write down my journey along with progress pictures so that everyone could ride along with me.
First off I'll start by telling you about my weight background for those who don't fully know. I've always been heavy. Even in my childhood, I've been overweight. I remember seeing a picture of me in elementary school and looking like a round ball. I laugh about it now bc actually it was pretty cute in that chubby way :). I loved food from the beginning and to make matters worse I just had a slow metabolism. It didn't help either that I would sneak food to my room. LOL. Anyways from day 1 I struggled with my weight. I always said I wanted to lose but never knew how or really did anything about it. I even went to a fat camp the summer before my soophmore year of high school. I had a blast! But unfortunately I gained it back. I not only struggled with my weight but I struggled really bad with depression. I had many friends but never hung out much with them because my self esteem was horrible! I always thought people would look at me and wonder why such good looking people wanted to hang out with me. Or why I was even at places like bars and clubs. Yes that's how bad my self esteem was. I never wanted to go out just stay at home and eat my sorrows away. Well I have to tell you one day it finally hit me. This is actually pretty funny so get ready. I read Twilight and it dawned on me that I really wanted my own love story. I knew that I would never find anyone that would be happy with me until I was happy with myself. . That was my motivation. Yes Edward and Bella were my motivation haha. Crazy I know but hey I am a weirdo at heart :). So anyways I set out to lose weight. I worked out everyday, watched what I ate, cut out sodas. I tried different things about my eating because at the time I really had no idea what was best. For a long time all I ate was vegatables. I'd get those steamable bags or I'd heat up a can of green beans. I lost about 25 pounds around 3 months. I was feeling good until one day I just wanted a Diet Dr. Pepper(my kryptonite) thinking just one won't hurt. Boy was I wrong! One led to many. After a few months of eating only veggies I got bored and started eating the same way I used to eat which was BAD. Fast food all the time. I think a year later I got my motivation back and my mom told me about a place called Slim4Life. Sounded great! I toook supplements to help with weight loss and a meal plan. And I would go to their office 3 times a week to weigh and talk about what I ate. Well like I said I LOVE food and this meal plan they gave me was extremely hard. I did well for about 3 months, not without plenty of slip ups mind you, but I lost about 30 pounds in 3 months. After a while I realized this place just wasn't for me. Not only could I not keep up with the healthy eating but the supplements made me break out really bad. So of course I went back to my regular habits along with pretty bad depression. Ever since then my weight just constantly went up. I couldn't get my motivation back(no matter how many romance novels I read). Many times I looked up to God and said I didn't want to be here. I didn't hate my life because I have a pretty damn good one with the family and friends that I have that care about me. And I could never harm myself because one I couldn't do that to the people I love and who love me and 2 I'm too chicken(which in this case is a good thing right :) gotta put a litte humor in there) But I hated myself. I didn't know what to do. I love working out and I did quite often. But you can workout til you pass out and it won't make a difference if you eat like crap. I remember the last time I looked to God and said that because not long after that did he turn around and say "No! Now get your head outta your butt because I have other plans for you!" Well I'm sure he didn't use those exact words but I'd like to think so haha. He blessed me with the greatest gift I've received thus far. I got help to get a loan to pay for surgery. For the longest time I researched about it and asked my insurance rep if they were going to cover it anytime soon. I wished for there to be a miracle and it came. I thank God every day when I look in the mirror since my surgery because I can see the results. It's been such a change! A VERY hard change but well worth it! The first couple of days after my surgery I actually dreamt of food. My mind was and is still a little bit in that mind set of wanting bad food. This surgery helps with not being able to eat that stuff anymore but it doesn't help with the mental part of it. That is the biggest challenge. I forget sometimes and still think about eating something I'm not suppose to eat but don't worry it quickly goes away. I don't forget for long. The first two weeks were pretty painful. I couldn't take any pain meds because it made me extremely sick. I think I did pretty well for no pain meds. I had a great coach! My mom helped me so much. The doctors and everyone around tell you to walk walk walk! And she made sure I did! I walked 3 times a day up and down my driveway. For those who don't know its a pretty long driveway. The first week and a half I couldn't walk a whole lot but by the end of the 2nd week I was walking pretty well without pain. I lost 26 in 2 weeks! I was so excited and seriously it was like overnight that I noticed. My tshirts fit a lot better, my face and neck were slimmer, and I could see my eyes better. I don't think I really looked at myself until the end of those 2 weeks. I did hit a stall after that 26 pound loss. But just recently I hit 30 pounds! The secret? Lots of liquids and protein! After the surgery you are suppose to sip constently so you need 64+ oz of liquid and at least 60oz of protein. Protein drinks count toward your liquid. I have a protein drink for breakfast and lunch. I'm able to have soft foods now so lately I have had ground turkey, potato soup, or eggs for dinner. I realized though that the ground turkey is still too hard and I made an omlette one night which was too hard as well. I try and stick with soup or deli meat now. And baked fish is good because its pretty soft when cooked. So that's been my journey so far. Sorry for any ramblings and the long post but I hope you enjoy! I've posted pictures of me 2 weeks before surgery and 2 weeks after surgery in the same outfit. Also a picture of me today a month out in a new dress I bout like 2 or 3 sizes smaller than what I was before surgery. There's not a huge difference I can tell not only when I look in the mirror but how I feel. Already I don't get extremely sweaty doing normal things and I feel happier. My sister told me the other day that I smiled more and just seemed more confident. Even in the 2 pictures of me in the same outfit I had people tell me that just by my smile they could tell a difference.
